When You're Gone
by Rinnie-chan
Summary: ONESHOT. When Kaoru goes missing, Kenshin wanders into her room to look for her. He finds something that startles him and causes him more pain than he wished. Read and Review. Semi tragic with slight romance. Rating T to be safe. Pairings are: KK
1. When You're Gone

**Author's Note: I hope you like it. This is my very first fanfiction that I have finished…..ever. xD Flames are welcome. Enjoy it. I also do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters. Thank you. **

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**When You're Gone **

**By: Broken Soul Bloody Wrists**

The purple eyed samurai slid open the door, a confused expression placed upon his gentle face. His red hair danced behind him as he flopped his head from left to right, side to side, searching for the other guests of the dojo.

"Miss Kaoru?" he called, his sweet voice echoing and bouncing off the dojo walls.

He got no response. He peeled off his sandals and laid them on the thin mat. He stepped into the dojo, the confusion now shining brightly in his eyes. He decided that maybe Kaoru was lost in her dreams inside her room. He softly padded his way to her door, and with using the tip of this knuckle, knocked on her door lightly.

"Miss Kaoru?" he questioned again. "Are you in there?"

Gaining no response Kenshin silently slid open the door and slipped inside with experienced grace. He peered with trained eyes around her room, his violet eyes darkening in serious worry. She hadn't said anything to him today; he hadn't seen her at all, actually. He let loose a quiet sigh as he walked over to the small wooden desk that held several sheets of paper, each with something scribbled on the surface. However, one particular caught his gaze.

He reached down and grabbed it delicately in his small calloused hands. He brushed the pad of his finger over the darker shades of tan were stained onto the paper, a sure sign she had been crying when she was writing.

His eyes widened when he read the first sentence.

"_To Kenshin, my Love. I know not if I'll have the courage to give this to you or to ever tell you how I feel…But say I were to die soon, I know you would wander into my room searching for me, and I hope you would find this. My love is always to you, my heart beating right next to yours. I'm sorry, my love. Goodbye. Signed Kaoru Kamiya."_

His lavender eyes welled with tears as he whispered out hoarsely to the dark nothingness of her room. "Wha..What do you mean...K-Kaoru? My Love, what are you talking about? My dear, sweet, Kaoru."

Kenshin fell to his knees in defeat clutching the letter into his shaking hands. His limbs stung and his eyes burned. His heart was ripping and tearing apart by the seams, never to be held or sewed back together again. Only Kaoru had the ability to mend his heart after Tomoe. Only she had the power to do so…And now he'd lost her too!

He stood up, his bangs falling over his now gleaming amber eyes. He would find her, she had to know he loved her. He shot out of the dojo and pockted the letter into his black hakama. His navy blue gi had opened a little ways, showing off the battle scars he had received when he was known and feared as the Hitokiri Battousai. His eyes narrowed as he gradually came to a hault. He heard a slight 'thump' but he couldn't pinpoint its location exactly. He began to search.

He looked around tree and behind large boulders until he finally reached a clearing. It smelled of the strong copper scent he knew so well. Blood! His eyes snapped open wider, his head thrashing about to find the source until finally, he gazed upon the sight he dreaded to see.

Kaoru was hanging in a tree, her foot banging against the hollow sounding trunk as the wind twirled her limp body 'round and 'round. Attached to her fragile neck was a thing tough piece of rope, the frays staining forever with the blood that dripped from the deep puncture it put into her soft skin. Her coarse fingertips dripped with the blood that spilled rapidly from the deep slits and cuts in her wrists. They traveled in different patterns, up and down her arms. The splashed to the floor to gather into the large puddle that held every last drop her body released.

Kenshin, on unsteady feet, wobbled over to her with such a pain in his heart. This time he knew it was real, not like the time with Enishi. Kaoru…HIS strong, brave Kaoru was dead. However, a spot of tan that was blemished in scarlet caught his eye. He leant down with unsure hands and picked up the piece of smeared and smudged parchment. On it, was a poem she had written before she took her own life.

'_The rain falls down on my heart_

_Pitter patter, it falls apart_

_Then your smiles light my day_

_Wish the rain and sorrow away_

_When you hold me, I feel l can fly _

_But it's when you let go that I feel I die _

_When my skin burns ice and my heart beats cold_

_I know its you that I want to hold_

_You that I want to beckon in my arms_

_So you can release all this pain you harbor in your heart_

_You make me wonder everything in life_

_Allow me ability to bite back my strife _

_You give me all sorts of pains and tears_

_Yet it you who comforts and warms my fears _

_You allow me comfort and safety and love_

_Even when the stars dim from above_

_When the moon falls down and the sun burns out_

_I know its you who murders my doubt_

_When the stars refuse to glisten and the world fails to turn'_

"_To you Kenshin, my love. I will forever guide you. Love, Your Kaoru."_

After all the pain this day brought him, Kenshin dropped hard to his knees and wept into his hands. He cried far harder than he had when Tomoe left. Tomoe would want him to love again, she would understand. He then threw his head back when the rain started to fall down, the heavy weight of it try to press him to the muddied soil and sopping grass. He had his eyes closed as he opened his mouth. He let out a heart wrenching scream.

"KAORU! I LOVE YOU! MY KAORU! My…Kaoru…." His voice, now labored and ragged, fell to a silence as he trailed off.

"I miss you…," he whimpered. "I love you…."

Warm hands pulled his chin up, brushing his fiery bangs from his glistening amber pools.

"And I love you…My Kenshin….My Shinta…"

His eyes widened and flooded to the brim with a fresh wave of new tears at the mention of his name. His real name. He closed his eyes and sucked in a shaky, uneven breath and he felt the wind brush over his soft lips, warming them with a gentle caress. When he opened his eyes, he was met with nothing but the heavy trees, dark gray sky, and Kaoru's lifeless body hanging right above him. Wordlessly, with blank gold eyes, he unsheathed his sakabatou and slashed the rope that had tangled and twined with her thin thread of fate.

Her body dropped into a heavy heap in his arms. Nothing was flowing through his mind now, nothing flowing through his heart as his blood drew cold in his veins. His Kaoru was gone…She was gone.

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**Author's Note: Well? Like it? Love it? Hate it? I'd like to know what you think. I hope you liked it. It is my first fanfiction and I'm actually really happy that I'm posting it here. I also am getting an account at When I post something there, I'll be sure to let you know, but my name is Lay Under The Moon. I hope you liked it. Bye de bye. **


	2. Author's Note For Reviewer Ven

**A complete author's note to reviewer "Ven": **

**Hello there. Thanks for your extremely long review, Ven. Heh. Well…I know my writing isn't the greatest at all. Actually I hate my writing with a passion yet I do it to vent and release my emotions. No harsh feelings are going into this…Erm…What would you call it? Response? That'll work. None at all. Anyways…I appreciate the fact you were honest with me. Thank you so very much for that. I'm grateful for the review you had submitted. I will definitely keep the things you said in mind. My worst fear was placing my stories on this site. Some of my writing I was actually proud of but it's sometimes comments like these I was afraid of receiving, but I realized I was being far too worried and decided to post it anyways. I may or may not continue to be a writer. I'm not quite sure. I figured that not everyone will enjoy my writing and some people just might. That is what convinced me to post my stories on the site. I'm glad you did leave me this comment however, since I can really see what most people probably think of my writing in their own minds. I know most of my friends hate my writing or dislike it but they don't have the heart to tell me. I can see it in their eyes. **

**Thank you for giving me the tips on what I can find or do to improve my writing. My main goal in life is to be a writer. I'm hoping to pursue that dream and I'm hoping I'll be able to reach my goal. **

**Okay…A new matter. My writing xanga. Thank you so much for saying that the daughter visiting the father's grave was beautiful. That made me cry and I'm still crying now, as a matter of fact. That story…was 99 true. I wrote it that same day I went to my father's grave. I was simply writing what had happened that day. The only thing that was false was where I found the baby blue pebble. Everything else…true. **

**My father has been dead for a while and is the main source to my writing. Normally, I write pain filled pieces that I only share with my close friends. To be completely honest please don't think I'm using this as an excuse my heart was not into this story. Not at all really. The poetry I had written a while back and I had wondered what it would be like if I were to make it into a short oneshot and post it on here. I had written the writing portion in under 20 minutes, not really enough time to go through and make the story much better. I dislike my entire pieces save for the one you read in my writing xanga. Normally, I'm a very deep writer; I tend to get into to a lot of detail on the scenery and attitudes of the characters and what not. **

**It also makes me laugh I suppose. Even though my writing was not all that grand, you still want to keep an eye out for other things I post. Well…I posted "Snow Painted Red" not too long ago today. I suggest you not read it. I was actually thinking of deleting it. It's a terribly written story, a must NOT read. I will try to write more of the writing style I had written on my xanga entry. Even if this story or any others you read on this site or any others you may find me at, I'm glad you found that piece in my xanga beautiful. That still makes me cry. Not once has anyone called that type of writing beautiful. People always look at me weird since I have "disorders" and seemingly "darker" and different opinions on things. People always suggest my writing to be dark when not many even bother to read it. I'm glad you forced yourself through this and didn't completely murder me for this concept of a story. **

**I'm glad you took the time to read my story especially if it seemed from the beginning it was already not your favorite to read and to make the extremely long review. It was my very first fanfic and to be honest, after "Snow Painted Red" gets burnt to the ground with horrible flames; I plan for this one to be my last. I don't think that I can explain all of my writing through typing. Its hard enough explaining to my friends at school what my writing means. I can only imagine how hard it is to type it all out. I may try a much better fic after "Snow Painted Red". One that I actually pour my heart and soul into, but my main worry with doing that with all my other stories would be that I would get a hard flame and I would be crushed. Writing is my passion and my love. I do it almost all the time. xD I carry journals with me nearly everywhere I go just incase I get a good story idea, I can start writing. I am sorry you didn't like the story all that much. I wish that it wasn't so horribly written ((xD I know…I'm my own worst critic.)) But as I have stated over and over again, I hate my writing completely. It's ironic really. I don't know how I will be able to love my writing when I think 4 year olds write better. Well, I'm glad you at least took some time to read it. I'm sorry it wasn't all that grand. I'll try much better in the future. **

**Signed,**

**x-Ashley Your Haunting Dreams**


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